This week, as soon as my exams finished, my plan was to finish writing my CV and start writing cover letters and applying for jobs.
Needless to say, so far I have failed.
Part of it is simple procrastination. Today I managed to avoid doing this onerous task by taking on the chore of cleaning my flat. The flat may only consist of 4 and a half rooms, but I managed to make it stretch out over nearly 4 hours, after which I was exhausted and made my conscience many feeble excuses as to why I could not possibly deal with the future today. I was tired, I felt ill (actually true), there are too many episodes of Breaking Bad to catch up on (yes, I know I'm about 9 months behind the rest of the world). None of which are really good enough. The flat could have survived one more day of being slightly untidy.
Mostly, I'm scared. I am absolutely terrified of even the smallest commitment of sending off an application to a job which I most likely won't even be considered for. And then what if I do get it? I'll almost feel obliged to accept, especially if I don't have any other options. So what are my options?
1. Get a "graduate" job - ideally in Cardiff (hopefully making the HUGE commitment to move in with my boyfriend) but mostly likely in London - yay long distance :(
2. Get a crappy job i.e. continuing to work at a supermarket - until something better comes along.
3. *big breath* Completely and utterly change career paths and apply to a Creative Writing course. This would require compiling a portfolio, so I'd first need to do that... so this one actually links in with point 2.
The point is... The point is that applying to big graduate jobs is a lot of work, which I'm not particularly keen on taking on right now. Maybe I'm just being lazy. But if I don't apply for anything, I'm ruling out that option, which also terrifies me.
Basically, I'm scared.
What do I do?
(I'm really sorry that this is just a really boring waffle post about myself... but actually no one reads this so I don't care).
