On feeling better (however briefly)

Despite having a pretty bad week culminating in an upsetting "discussion" (not an argument...) with my boyfriend, today I am feeling rather chipper. I'm putting this down to focusing on the little things that make me happy, rather than the little things that bring me down.

OK, so this morning wasn't great. A couple of my housemates really managed to bring me down just by the way they treat me... an outside observer would probably see it as three friends joking and having fun, but from where I'm standing, their snippy little comments and attitude towards me really doesn't help with my whole positive mind state.

If someone constantly treated you like you weren't worth listening to, if they constantly made you feel stupid and useless and annoying, after a year and a half of living with them, it would get to you. And it has.

I've thought that it could be me just being sensitive... but even if that is so, surely as 'friends' they shouldn't treat me like that? Surely they should understand? Well... I haven't spoken to them about it, because I'm not entirely sure that they'd listen if I did, or whether they'd even care.

Actually, I did speak to one of them about how down I was feeling a few weeks ago, but she dismissed it as stress over uni work. Thanks, friend.

So my worries aren't completely unjustified. I just don't know what to do, its making me want to hide in my room all the time, which actually doesn't help 'cause it's cold and damp which also depresses me.

And, despite all that, I managed to end this afternoon feeling slightly more positive, after going charity shop shopping (?) and buying a secret surprise gift for my boyfriend (I can't say what it is 'cause he'll read this and find out), I got home feeling excited and optimistic.

I'm hoping to hold onto this feeling, and to do this I am going to put post-it notes around my room with things on that make me feel better, reasons to be happy and hopeful, because life isn't really that bad. It just seems like it is, relative to how great I could feel.

I WILL feel that good again. I will be happy, I will enjoy each and every day, and the day that starts to happen is just around the corner.